When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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