: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
