i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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