I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
