It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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