u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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