i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
