Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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