i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize