It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
