he puts the penis in happiness.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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