Dual....:-)
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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