So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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