So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
