Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
