Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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