HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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