No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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