I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
