Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
