Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
