literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i out mim tonsoeep
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