Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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