Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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