I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found puke in my bra..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize