piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
