I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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