end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
