Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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