I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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