Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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