porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is this like a preordered booty call?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
