im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i think i just lost a toe
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
