I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
