we're blogging at a bar
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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