You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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