dude i'm inner monologue high
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
its liver damage thursday
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize