I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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