That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
