I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
why didn't you poke me back
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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