I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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