By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
