i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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