I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
