'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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