check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
