this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize