so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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