Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
