You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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