I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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