can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
