I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
