Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
