i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
