she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize