"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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