So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
