that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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