well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
