I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
