Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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