bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
