if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
