The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
