Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
