I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is Oprah even human
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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