You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
