You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
