I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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