you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just gargled with NyQuil
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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