Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
