..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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