The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
