Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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