I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
