Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
this beer tastes like vomit already
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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