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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  look no pants

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• (512): View more from Texas

  just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  pretty standard. you have fun last night?

  (512): View more from Texas

  apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.

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• (909): View more from California

  We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i used baking grease as lip gloss

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• (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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• (424): View more from California

  Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried

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• (435): View more from Utah

  It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.

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