Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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