erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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