Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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